A growing mental health crisis is unfolding in Kiambu County as counselors raise alarm over an increasing number of men sinking into depression, substance abuse, and even suicidal thoughts following emotional and financial exploitation by women posing as romantic partners.
Relationship counselor Dr. Susan Gitau says the cases have spiked in recent months, with many victims reporting severe emotional distress after being manipulated by women seeking financial gain rather than genuine love.
“Relationships built on deceit and money have become dangerous. Some men have ended up in violent confrontations, and others have narrowly escaped death after discovering they were being used,” Dr. Gitau said, warning that such relationships are fuelling gender-based violence across the county.
Several men shared their painful experiences, describing how misplaced trust led to heartbreak and financial ruin.
Boniface Elvis, a 35-year-old marketer, revealed he spent over Ksh500,000 supporting a woman who promised commitment, only for her to vanish after receiving funds to start a salon and boutique.
“I thought we were building a future together. When the money ran out, she left without explanation,” Elvis said, admitting the betrayal pushed him to the brink of despair.
Another victim, Francis Kinuthia, said he almost took his own life after discovering his girlfriend was using his money on another man. “I treated her well and supported her needs, but later learned she was cheating. It shattered me,” he recounted.
According to life coach Paul Collins, the situation is not unique to Kiambu it reflects a growing national problem. He says many men are silently suffering, unable to speak out due to fear of stigma or ridicule.
“The stories we hear in counselling centres are heartbreaking. Some men are emotionally broken and financially drained. This issue needs urgent national attention,” Collins said.
He added that the trend is particularly rampant among some female university students who exploit men under the guise of romantic relationships. “Some students have turned relationships into survival schemes. Once the man falls into the trap, the damage is devastating,” he observed.
Dr. Gitau urged young men to exercise caution before committing financially to partners without clear intentions, noting that emotional manipulation often leads to depression and violence. She also appealed to young women to act responsibly and avoid exploiting partners for money.
“Relationships should be built on honesty and mutual respect, not greed or deceit. Exploitation only leads to tragedy,” she cautioned.
Counselors are now calling for increased public sensitization and support programs to help men affected by emotional and financial abuse an issue they say remains one of the least discussed mental health challenges in Kenya today.
